Relatives’ Conference – Report
Our Personal Stories – Let’s Rewrite Them!
Just like in previous years, this year’s Relatives’ Conference was held in the spirit of meeting, getting to know one another, and discussing shared challenges. The 36 participants arrived mostly from Târgu Mureș and its surroundings, as well as from support groups in Szeklerland and Cluj-Napoca.
On Friday, communal singing and interactive team-building games helped everyone attune to one another.
“What does love mean in a couple or family relationship that has long been one-sided and broken?”
“How can an exhausted, embittered relative, groping in the dark—who often can no longer even connect with themselves—still show love?”
We explored these questions together during Éva Adorján’s interactive presentation titled “What I, as a Relative, Cannot See Yet.” The expert spoke about the characteristics of codependency, relational dynamics, psychological games, needs, power structures, as well as the accompanying emotions and reactions—everything that helps us gain insight into our own functioning.
She emphasized that while the past cannot be forgotten, wounds can heal, forgiveness can happen, and stories can be rewritten. She also encouraged us not only to think about the future but to try to see who we have become and how we have grown strong while living alongside a partner’s or child’s addiction.
The seemingly endless small-group discussions showed that the presentation deeply touched the participants—in some way, everyone began to rewrite their own story. The afternoon thematic film screening and the many songs shared together facilitated self-expression and helped us articulate our inner feelings and thoughts more precisely.
During the closing program, everyone used a card to formulate a practical step they wish to take at home to bring about change. Participants agreed on the vital importance of community, staying in touch, and mutual encouragement. We also promised to maintain contact and visit one another until the next conference.
